One of the hugest secrets we try to keep is a sense of independence and pride. The notion or sensation that you are significant in some special way, that you are loved by a special person, that an individual is giving you distinctive attention, these are some of the ego’s very subtle secrets. We are striving to hide our Divine Self and are partaking in all these different games, which look to be very disconcerting. It is pretty depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we attempt to get scraps of distinctive love, attention and acclaim to prop ourselves up.
We work so hard at turning into “better people”, at gaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be admired more and be more well-known. The entire self-help sector is focused on bettering the self so you can grow into a better you. That is another trick we secretly partake on ourselves, thinking we have to keep rotating our wheels trying to turn into better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very calming when you start to realize that you do not have to become any better than you already are. You were created perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find tranquility but through self-acceptance.
As I worked with A Course in Miracles, I could notice that there was a terror of divine love in my mind. I realized this was the ego’s dread of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being revealed and being seen as a puff of nothingness. That is the fear of intimacy. We discuss about this dread in relationships, which is sometimes depicted as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a terror of dropping our persona, our mask of distinctiveness. It is the dread of getting swept away by a splendid love, a love so intense that none of us can even envision something as magnificent and potent!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great consciousness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something incorrect, whether you’ve masturbated, swiped something, mistreated someone, or there is something in your mind that you have deemed as so horrible that you don’t even want to confront it, you just want to overlook about it and push it out of notice.
Beneath all those memories and thoughts, is the belief that we are divided. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unattainable belief, but we think that it is true; We have judged it as horrific and have pushed it out of notice. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in division. And as you really provide yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally confront this hidden belief in disunion!
Please, share any thoughts and remarks with me below, I’d love to hear about your journey!
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